"Time and time again, people tell us, 'Our relationship would be so much better if my partner would stop doing these three things.' As far as we can tell, there are only two ways to overcome this reality. The first is pure fantasy--thinking that your partner is going to be able and willing to change. But the other way is creative and incredibly effective--to choose to let go of your top three pet peeves....Once you surrender to the fact that they aren't going to go away and you decide to make peace with them, you will be able to see the innocence in them and, in many instances, the humor in them."
--Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

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"Happily, learning to predict the predictable--and making peace with it--can save you from a great deal of agitation....Your boyfriend, for example, might become defensive every time you make plans on Sunday afternoon because that's the day he likes to watch sports on television. Once you know this, it's unnecessary, maybe even a little foolish, to take offense at his reaction. If you know what's coming, in advance, you can make certain allowances. You might decide not to make plans on Sunday. Or, if you decide to go ahead and do so anyway, you can do so compassionately, and not take his knee-jerk reaction so personally."
--Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

"People have all sorts of different eccentricities....Some insist on putting things in a certain place, spending a certain amount of time alone, being organized, washing a dish as soon as it's used, going to sleep at a certain time, reading at a certain time....One of the simple pleasures of life is feeling the freedom to be yourself and to do some things just the way you like to do them, without having to qualify your reasons or constantly explain yourself--as long as they aren't adversely affecting others. When you have the need to correct your partner, make him 'wrong' or feel bad, or criticize his eccentricities, you rob him of a simple source of joy."
--Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

"Refuse to 'let it bug you'...kids fighting or demanding your attention, chaos, a messy room, a leaking roof, a noisy pet, an overflowing closet, or a snoring spouse....When you refuse to let it bug you, you are not denying that something bugs you. What you are doing is retraining your mind to respond differently to the same set of facts."
--Don't Sweat the Small Stuff with Your Family

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